


With This Ring

by TillyAnn



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29203071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TillyAnn/pseuds/TillyAnn
Summary: Newly engaged Ben realises he is still wearing Paul's ring. Finally feeling ready to remove it, to start this new chapter with Callum, he visits Pam and Les to tell them the news.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 73





	With This Ring

Ben wakes up slowly, the world around him fuzzy as he tries to cling onto the dream he was having. Only, he realises seconds later, it wasn’t a dream. It’s a memory. A memory of an engagement. Of roses. Of whispered I love you’s and tender kisses and heads pressed gently together.

Last night, Callum Highway became his _fiancé,_ and yet, it hardly seems real. _Ben Mitchell engaged._ It isn’t something Ben ever thought could become a reality. Never truly believed he was worthy of a love so strong. A love that could withstand anything. Except, here he is. Here _they_ are. Ben and Callum. Together. Engaged.

He feels a slight stirring next to him. A hand wrapping around his waist from behind, lips close to his left ear,

“Morning,” he whispers; softly, but loud enough for Ben to make out the word. Ben feels the smile form, powerless to stop it, as he turns his head, awkwardly pressing his lips against Callum’s over his shoulder. It's when he moves his hand, to clasp it over the one that’s hugging him tightly, that a realisation hits him.

The ring currently on _that_ finger, on his left hand, which is currently glinting slightly in the light that is seeping in through the slight gap in the curtains. A ring that he has worn, constantly, for almost 5 years. Thoughts of Paul, along with him Pam and Les, run through his mind. He needs to tell Pam and Les. He’ll have to take off Paul’s ring. He’s ready to finally, properly, move on; he knows that, but thinking about making such a step is still hard, so final. He needs Pam and Les to know he will never forget the boy who was so instrumental in making him who he is today, before he can go through with the action. There will always be a small place in his heart reserved for Paul Coker. Just like there will be a small place for Chris in Callum’s.

Callum gently dislodges his hand from its position at Ben’s waist, reaching gently under Ben’s chin to turn his head so they’re facing each other. His unique way of making sure Ben can understand what he’s saying, without the added help of his implant, which is currently sitting on the bedside table.

“You ok?” Callum asks, brow furrowed in worry. “I can almost hear ya thinkin’.”

He taps Ben’s forehead gently, before continuing,

“Not havin’ second thoughts, are ya?” He forces the words out on a huffed laugh, looking genuinely terrified about the answer Ben is about to give.

Ben turns over, facing Callum properly now, and presses an urgent kiss to his lips.

“Never!” He whispers, not really moving back, lips still brushing against Callum’s as he speaks. “This. God, Cal. It’s all I never dared let meself believe I’d get. You. Me. This. It’s a dream I never wanna wake up from.”

He feels, rather than hears, Callum’s exhale of relief has he tilts his head forward to press their foreheads against each other; a move so well-practised, so very them.

“Well, what is it then?” Callum’s worry clearly replaced with confusion now.

Shifting slightly so he can look up at Callum, Ben reaches out his hand to stroke his cheek gently, marvelling all over again at the obstacles they’ve faced, both apart and together, to get to this point.

“Just thinking about Paul.” He admits, freely, gesturing towards the ring on his left hand; a truth he knows he’d have once kept hidden, would have struggled to speak aloud.

“Ben.” Callum says, affection clouding his tone, making his voice thick. “I would never, _never,_ ask you to remove his ring. Ya know that, right”

A rush of love courses through Ben, making his chest tight and his eyes well up. He blinks, keeping tears at bay.

“I’m still not sure what I’ve done to deserve you, Callum Highway.” He mutters, shaking his head fondly. “I... Thank you.”

He smiles, pressing his lips together tightly in thought and taking a deep breath, before carrying on,

“That’s not what I meant though. I... I think I want to. Take it off, I mean. I’m ready to. I want this, Callum, with you. Marriage. And all the little extras it has to offer. And that includes rings. I want a ring on my finger that’s chosen by you, by us. I just think I need to tell Pam and Les before I do, ya know.”

Callum just kisses him, entangles their fingers, their hands together, in between their chests.

“D’ya want me to come wiv ya? When you tell ‘em?” He offers.

Ben shakes head, just once, slightly.

“Nah, I think this is somethin’ I have to do alone.” He says in response, before his teeth bite at his bottom lip, displaying a sudden anxiety, his next words coming out in a rush. “Ya don’t mind, d’ya, I just think I...”

“Ben.” Callum cuts him off, one hand reaching out to brush a stray hair off Ben’s forehead, instantly soothing his panic. “It’s fine. I promise. When were you thinkin’ about going?”

“Today.” Ben admits, “I just want them to know, need to know they’re happy for me, for us, ya know?”

Callum nods, leaning to kiss Ben gently, a sign of support.

“Not right now though,” Ben adds, customary smirk forming, worry about the previous conversation all but evaporated. “First, we need to finish that celebration we started last night...”

*****

It is some hours later that Ben finally manages to drag himself out of the bed, and another 20 minutes before he leaves the house; Callum is a very distracting, disarming, man when he wants to be.

He finally arrives at Pam and Les’ bungalow by the sea, 2 hours after letting them know he was coming. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply in time to the sound of the waves that are washing against the sand not that far away, in an attempt to push away the sudden nervousness that has just swept through him.

Eventually, he feels calmer and grins at the sight of Pam rushing towards him. She smiles widely, waving enthusiastically in Ben’s direction, as he climbs out of the car.

“Hi, Pam! Long time, no see!” He laughs, as she reaches him and hugs him tightly. He wraps his arms around her short frame, clinging on more than usual. He forgets how much he misses her until he sees her again. The look on her face as she pulls back, patting him on the cheek, is fond.

“Look at you, that boyfriend of yours is treating you well, I can tell. You look happy, Ben. Happier than I ever remember you being.”

“Pam...” He starts, before she waves her hand at him.

“I know our Paul made you happy in here, Ben,” she says, placing a hand over his heart, before tapping the side of his head, “but you weren’t happy up here, and I can tell just by looking at you that you’ve come such a long way.”

With a small smile, she takes his hand, leading him up the driveway to the house.

“Les!” She shouts, as she enters the front door, “Ben’s here!”

She gestures to the front room, pushing him in the door before her, coffee and biscuits set up on the little coffee table in the centre of the room.

Pouring him a coffee, they both sit down on armchairs opposite each other, Ben suddenly feeling more awkward in her presence than he has in such a long time. His leg bobs up and down with apprehension, as thoughts of what he’ll do if Pam and Les aren’t as understanding as he thinks they’ll be. He suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder, jumping slightly at the touch, before turning and standing to greet the man behind him.

“Les! So good to see you.” He hugs him briefly, patting his back before they both take a seat.

“And you, Ben, and you. Now, as much as we love to see you, I’m assuming it’s got to be something important considering the sense of urgency we got from you this morning?” He smirks, with a knowing look on his face, as if he knows what Ben has got to say, but just needs to hear it from the horse’s mouth.

“Yeah, something like that, yeah.” Ben sighs, “I just… I needed to tell you both in person. I just need you to know that I’m never going to forget Paul. Ever.”

Pam smiles at him, sadly but with love.

“We know that, Ben.”

“I know, it’s just…” He gulps, reaching for his coffee and taking a drink, needing to delay the inevitable, trying to form the words he needs to say in his mind.

“Everything’s ok, Ben? You’re ok?” Pam asks, her eyes narrowed with concern.

He nods, quickly, placing his drink back down with a sigh.

“Yeah, yes. It’s… wonderful to be honest, Callum is wonderful. We’re… We’re engaged.” He breathes out the final word, smile itching at the corners of his mouth, as Pam’s delighted shriek fills the room. She stands, grabbing him by the hand to pull him to his feet, before hugging him tightly.

“Oh, Ben, I’m so, so happy for you. So happy.” He looks down at her, sees the tears welling up in her eyes, brushing them away for her with a finger.

“You are?” He whispers, relief in the knowledge that he was right about their acceptance.

“Of course, we are, you silly boy, all we’ve ever wanted is your happiness.”

He leans down slightly, kissing her cheek softly, whispering,

“Thank you” in her ear, before looking over to Les, who is beaming at him.

“I’m so proud of you, Ben. Paul would be too, ya know.”

Ben shakes his head,

“I dunno, it all feels so surreal still, ya know. Like, it’s happening to someone else. Not me. I never thought I’d get this. Paul made me believe I deserved it, for the first time in me life, he made me feel wanted, made me feel safe. Callum makes me feel that too.”

Pam finally releases her hold on him.

“So,” she says, grabbing his hand, rubbing her thumb gently against the ring on his finger. “You’ll be getting a new one of these, I reckon.”

Ben swallows against the lump in his throat, nodding slightly,

“I… Think it’s time. He’ll always be with me. Just in other ways. Is that ok?”

“More than ok, my sweet boy. More than… Oh!” Her eyes widen, and she smiles hesitantly. “Wait here.”

She disappears out of the room. Ben stares after her in confusion, looking at Les, who shrugs.

“I’ve given up trying to work her out. It’s my tip for a long and happy marriage, Ben. Just agree!” He laughs, nodding his head at Ben to sit back down. “We love you, ya know? Always will. Don’t forget our invitation, will ya?”

“Never. You two are top o’ my list.”

Les reaches out his hand, and Ben squeezes it, as Pam re-enters, a box in her hand.

“This was Paul’s,” she says, passing it to him as she goes to stand by Les. “Open it.”

Ben looks at her, uncertain, before lifting the lid of the box; sitting inside it is a simple gold chain.

“I just thought…” Pam says, faltering, clearly doubting herself, “you don’t have to, I mean… I just thought ya could put that ring on Paul’s chain, wear it that way? If you want to, I mean, don’t feel you have to. It’s was a stupid idea, wasn’t it? Sorry, I…”

She trails off, and Ben feels the tears fall from his eyes, having no control over them, and he brushes them away roughly.

“No. No, it’s perfect.” He whispers, voice cracking slightly with emotion, staring at the chain and running his finger over it gently. He removes the ring carefully from his finger, feeling strange to be without it after so long, but feeling like he can finally start a new chapter of his life.

Pam takes the chain and ring from him, threading the ring through, and gesturing for him to turn around. She fastens the chain around his neck, squeezing his hand once more, as she finally returns to her seat. Picking up the plate of biscuits, she waves them towards Ben.

“Now, take one of these, and tell us all about the proposal!”

Ben grins, a warmth washing over him from happiness and relief. His hand reaching up automatically to wrap around the ring that’s resting at the centre of his chest. Taking a biscuit, he begins the story that he’s sure he will repeat over and over again without ever tiring of it.

“Well… I may have messed it up to begin with… It’s apparently not a good idea to propose over some dirty dishes, in ya kitchen, with the suggestion of nipping to the registry office, just so your boyfriend can pick your daughter up from school…”


End file.
